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Category Archives: useless shit

I’m sick and dying…

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Well maybe not dying in the terminal illness way…unless you count life as a terminal illness…which I I am technically dying.

Anyway, some asshole bastard, coughed on their hands and then sat at my desk and touched my stuff! Other “at home” assholes coughed in my face, whipped their nose on my sleeve and were otherwise gross! And now I’m sick!


Back to the grind stone!

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I’m officially back at work and also officially out of vacation time! 😦

I am officially bummed out and officially need and official lottery win so I can officially retire!

I officially don’t have the $ to take any more time off work. I officially need to find a sugar daddy….sorry Rob but it would just be for his deep pockets!

I officially need to stop saying officially!

my week in hell!

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This week I was basically in the bush with no signal! (This should have been the first clue to turn around)…

In order to get signal I had to stand on my head with my left arm at an eighty degree angle and my left pointer finger up my nose! So please forgive me for being absent!

We were there to help build and prepare land for my uncle to build on! He had these plans and got really sick and now can’t do this on his own!
It was hot and hard work but it wasn’t all bad!

Ya its hot…so am I but i dont hear you complaining about that!

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My husband is his own worst enemy….and I can’t tell if its because he is a Taurus, a man or an idiot…. Either way he can not handle the heat!

We have one window airconditioner….its in the livingroom! This means the second floor of your house is H.O.T hot! I don’t mind the heat, for me its a nice break from the winter months where ‘he’ opens the windows for “fresh air”!

So I suggested that he either sleep on the couch or take a cold shower before coming to be! He refuses! Every 10 seconds he sighs and says ” it is tooooo fucking. Hot in herrrrrreeeeeee”. But he refuses to heed my amazing advice!

The big problem is that because he is CHOOSiNG to suffer…I have to suffer right along side him!

If I have to hear about the heat anymore….I just might get stabby!

Yesterday i was almost raptured …by a fucking Corolla!

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My week:


To the lady in the friggin Corolla who tried to run me off the road… eat shit.

To the couple who hired me to photograph them and don’t like the pictures even though they are perfectly fine….here is a mirror, I can’t help you if you don’t like the reflection.

To the baby I got to photography and hold again yesterday…You have the whole world in front of you, fantastic parents and your darn cute…Live a good happy life, little one.

To my twin sister…. I love you more the the whole wide univers-ity…and I am STILL cuter then you are! 

To my husband, yes you can borrow $ to fill up your new car…with a big wink…I told you it would be expensive to fuel.

To the guy who made my coffee this morning…GOD BLESS YOU.

To my son who woke me up in the middle of the night because you had a nightmare….I secretly don’t mind if you come sleep with me sometimes!  I know it won’t be long until the snuggles end!

To those who love Ribs…I STILL don’t get it!

To my boss….Jimmy… Your way too much fun and I am GREATFUL I don’t have to put up with that “other” guy anymore.

To my hair…WHY must you hate me sooo much??  I wash you, I brush you, I take care of  you…and you continue to make me look bad!

To the family of kids who live in my neighbourhood who don’t speak English who want to play with Gavin at 10:30 at night and knock on the door constantly for an hour after I say “Gavin in bed” with sleepy hand gestures… you should be in bed too.


Its HUMP day… You know what that means?… I still have to work for two more days L

We took an ass raping but we finally got there!

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Introducing our new Dodge Charger! It costs $80 to fuel at 1.25/L. But is such a sweet ride!

Rob tells me he is sleeping with her tonight! Says he needs to get to know her! (I will put a protective device (aka chastity belt) on the tail pipe). Protection!

Rob is smiling ear to ear! And I haven’t had the pleasure of driving it yet! (Bastards)!

I think I should be jealous only the car doesn’t have boobs and I think that means I am sexier! If only marginally!

compooter’s are so complicated!

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Him: my internet is not working!

Me: I’m sorry to hear that! What specifically is happening?

Him: well I connect and then it says I’m connected but I’m not connected!

Me: ok so let me make sure I understand…your internet shows its connected but when you open a web page it tells you, you are not connected?

Him: what’s a web page?

Me: *bangs head against my desk* sir how long have you been using the internet? (Check his age! 82 years young)

Him: well I just got this here compooter last week, and I really don’t know how to use it!

Me: fantastic!

why are banks such jerkoffs?

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So it all got changed! We are buying the dodge magnum! Provided NOTHING else goes wrong!

The bank needs to take their hands off their private parts, learn to communicate and get on it!
Update: we cancelled the deal!!!!!! Turns out both the dealer and the “finance” company are shady! Have been fighting for two weeks and we are officially done! I hope they don’t mind jacking each other off because I pulled my dick out of the circle jerk! We have another ‘reputable’ dealer on board now!!

we did it….FINALLY!

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We bought a new (to us) car! A 2007 Dodge Charger!

So let’s compare shall we??

The charger has no hole in the grill! It has no melted crayons, candy, pee or vomit! No half eaten french fries! No duck tape on the centre console!

The benefit of the Ford! It is fully paid for! And its not sold yet! Eekk! Anyone need a ford focus wagon? Roflmfao!

remind me to thank the teacher!

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So I was tickling my son today when he said to me … “You can’t tickle me anymore mom, it starts out good then gets confusing then turns bad”.

Are you kidding me?? Trust me when I say my tickles have NEVER got confusing or bad….what an insane blanket statement to give to 6 year olds!

What ever happened to “these are my privates and your not allowed to touch them!!”.

Just thought you needed to know tickling us off the table! Its official…because the teacher said so!!!!