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The reasons my kids love me!

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1)I give them icecream for breakfast.

2)When they ask me for something my answer is always, “Whatever, I dont care just be careful and don’t make mommy have to take you to the hospital or jail!”

3)I tell my husband to shut up I can’t hear the TV when he is yelling at them.

4) I sneak them treats after dark

5)I write notes to the teacher to excuse their homework not being done!

6) We have a sign in our kitchen that reads “Remember, as far as anyone knows we are a nice, normal family”.

7) I play catch from the kitchen window with my son (no we don’t have a screen-stop judging me).

8)I let them drive when I’m Drunk (they LOVE that).

9) My boy has broken 6 bikes in two years… and I keep getting him new ones! – okay well the neighbours kids keep loosing them….(it is new to him so he doesn’t mind!!)

10) I surround them with the Gays and sinners… I’m TOTALLY saving their souls yo!!

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About Julia

Well I guess since you are still around... you didn't get Raptured either ... That means you are a SINNER... so stop judging me!

5 responses »

  1. Ha! No wonder your kids love you.
    I can never hear the TV at home unless they’re watching it.

    Reply
    • Yes here as well…but then my husband chimes in thinking that if he yells at them to say “SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPP” , they will heed his advice and be the hell quiet… this never works…

      Writerdood….its hard being the single parent to three children under 33! sigh!

      Reply
  2. OMG- #2 is almost verbatim what I told my husband before his bachelor party- as long as I don’t have to pick anyone up in the hospital or jail- it’s all good!

    Reply
    • Right???!!! Hospitals and jail are bad… asleep in bed is good!! I am trying to invent the mute and pause button for kids! Still working out the kinks…

      Reply
  3. It’s like the 12 step program only its 10 steps…cool!!!

    Reply

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