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Team Jacob

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Have you seen Jacobs abs? I feel like such a cougar but I would TOTALLY take that boy for a ride!

Just sayin!

I’m sick and dying…

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Well maybe not dying in the terminal illness way…unless you count life as a terminal illness…which I I am technically dying.

Anyway, some asshole bastard, coughed on their hands and then sat at my desk and touched my stuff! Other “at home” assholes coughed in my face, whipped their nose on my sleeve and were otherwise gross! And now I’m sick!


working from home!

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So I can’t say I am the luckiest girl in the world because to be honest my thighs are to thick for that, and I’m not that rich, which you should translate to dirt poor!

But I get to work from home!!!!! No not yet but soon I will be answering all your technical support questions while drinking coffee in the nude!!

Screw casual fridays!!! Everyday is casual day!

My work space is 15 toe lengths from my bed! So who knows, maybe I won’t even get out of bed!

Ahhh life is….good!

Open Letter to Harold Camping!

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Dear Harold,

What the fuck?!? I’m still here…I know this because I am listening to my kids argue, my dishes are waiting to be washed and I am still getting collection calls!

Dude the bus didn’t come for me, neither did the space ship! I am HIGHLY disappointed! I wonder where you went Harold! I was counting on your promise of a rapture!

I made plans for this, had t-shirts made for all my friends that read “I’m being Raptured, No seriously…this time its for real”. I sat outside in the rain on a hill top all day like Woody Harrelson in 2012! I wore my home made tin foil helmet, and I made a fool out of my self!

Harold…its not “God” talking to you…even he isn’t THAT cruel! Here let me lend you my tin foil helmet…you need it more then I do!

extreme couponing!

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Last night I watched Extreme Couponing for the first time.

First of all…what the fuck? Seriously… What the fuck? And Good God..what the fuck?

I went to bed all stressed out! In Canada this crazy mental illness is not a problem because our stores put a LIMIT on sale items… IE: tooth paste $1 limit of 3! And they NEVER give you cash back for a coupon that is worth more then your item. And they NEVER let you double up coupons or sales!

No wonder the USA is going bankrupt…I blame the coupon whores!

its been a while

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Wow so much has been going on…where to start? My 48 year old aunt passed away just over two weeks ago, my uncle had MAJOR reconstructive surgery on his stomach and intestines and my mom had surgery on wednesday as well!

I have been running all over the province this month and have not had a moment to myself!

Soooo I’m baaacckkk and JUST IN TIME TOO!! CAMPING came back too! Are you guys seriously prepared this time?

I for one am making my end of days posters right now! You should make one too and we can compare! I plan to bedazzle mine! I feel the more flashy the faster the space ship will recognize me! 🙂

One Year!

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Today is the one year anniversary of my husband loosing his right leg!

This year WE have learned how to heal, walk on a prosthetic leg, mold padding, the true definition of socks and their many uses!

We have endured comments, questions, over come fears and re-learning to drive!

Rob is truly an inspiration and has shown me just how much of a man he really is (I had my doubts after watching him try to put IKEA furniture together!).

So tonight we celebrate… Ron James show and a nice dinner together!

Love you babe!

My baby boy!

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Well we had a great summer! The kids ran a muck, we worked our butts off and reaped small monetary rewards…
Now the stress of the year comes around! Schedules, lunches, fund-raising, school plays, and a boy with a learning disability struggling everyday to understand what other kids are easily and naturally picking up!

I’m worried about him! I’m worried that he will get discouraged or feel that he isn’t good enough!

I make sure to always praise his efforts! But I just hope in the long run its enough!

Quick i need to know….

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Is doing the pee dance and walking too and from the bathroom considered exercise?

If so…I’m fucking fit!!!

Like taking back the night, only with our kids!

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My babysitters grand daughter keeps running away from home…

I get frantic knocks on the door asking if I can drive her places to look for this kid! She is 13 years old… Her mother is beside herself.. They live in a nice house, the kids get what they need and want, home life is good…

The mom has asked the police, CAS, anyone who will listen for help and still as soon as the kid gets home she runs away again!

This mom doesn’t know what to do!

Here is my advice…you can’t kick a 13 year old out but you are NOT required to make their stay comfortable! This isn’t the 4 seasons!

I would renovate my daughters bedroom into a yoga room or a craft room…. Something for me!
Then I would show her to the couch, zero privacy, no phone privileges, no creature comforts!

“Oh I’m sorry its 5am and I need to get ready for work, please vacate the couch, I need to put my shoes on!”

“Oh you need new shoes? Let’s go to the thrift store!”

“You want to use my computer? Sorry its sleeping right now!”

3 months pass…..

“You want your room back? Okay but here are the rules… Break them and the couch will be moved to the shed.”

You know why kids are out of control? Because parents coddle them! God forbid your 17 year old cross the street to catch the school bus, or that their little egos get hurt, or that you don’t replace the toys that they deliberately broke, or that you punish them, or give consequences, or that you just fucking parent them!

PUT THE PUREL down! Let your kids play in the dirt, let them make mud pies and dance in the rain! Let go of the leash and you will find your snowflake isn’t so fragile! We learn how to be good people by making bad decisions!